The Phenomenology of Prayer
“Which brings me to my thesis:
prayer is a deep, quite possibly the deepest decentering of the self, deep
enough to begin dismantling or, if you like, deconstructing that burning
preoccupation with myself.”-Benson and Wirzba
As a
Christian, I both agree and disagree with his thesis. Sometimes when I pray, I
can get there. I can truly start to care more about God and other people in my
life other than myself. However, this is rare. Prayer is hard and takes
practice and as humans we have a hard time separating our wants from our
prayers. Even when I am praying for good things like the healing of a family
member or help for a friend. A lot of time I’m doing it for myself. I want them
to get better because they are important to me. I want my friend to make better
choice because she matters to me. How much of even our good prayers, the ones
we pray for someone, really about them. There is only one instance in which I
truly was able to pray without thoughts for myself. When my grandpa was sick, I
of course wanted him to get better. It was only a few months before I graduated
from high school. The selfish part of me wanted him to make it to my graduation
even if he was in pain. However, I saw his pain. So through prayer I asked god
to take him to heaven and end his suffering. This is the only time I was fully
able to pray without any considerations for myself. Benson and Wirzba make it
seem like this is a more common and easier process than it is to decenter
yourself even in prayer.
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